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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Telegram:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Live now on Telegram:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Reported on Discord:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Making waves on X:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Shared recently on Twitch:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Making waves on Discord:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

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