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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Live now on YouTube:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Shared recently on Discord:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Spotted on YouTube:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

28 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Live now on YouTube:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Spotted on Facebook:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Trending via WeChat:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Reported on Instagram:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Reported on Twitch:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

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