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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Spotted on Telegram:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Spotted on Discord:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Making waves on WeChat:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Funny mental break quotes

New funny mental break quotes 👇

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

0

6 months ago

brain, break, distraction, humor, just, mental, mental break, off switch, procrastination, switch

Someone from 🇬🇩 has recently bookmarked this quote.

64 shares on TikTok this month.

All funny mental break quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Easy there, unsaved number.

13 shares on Slack this month:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

82 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

37 shares on X this month:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

51 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

16 shares on Slack this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Going viral on X:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Breaking via Discord:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Just landed via Telegram:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Spotted on Facebook:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Broadcasted on X:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny mental break quotes

New funny mental break quotes 👇

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

All funny mental break quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨