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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

28 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Going viral on Discord:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Going viral on TikTok:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Trending via YouTube:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Home » Funny Metric Quotes

Funny metric quotes

New funny metric quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Commentary:
Ah, the metric system debate – a true American classic! 🇺🇸📏 Imagine the chaos of using liters instead of gallons or centimeters instead of inches! ⚖️ Who knew measurements could spark such passion? 😄 Let the metric mayhem begin!
6 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Commentary:
"Who knew drug dealers were our unintentional math teachers all along? 🤔📏 Let's thank them for making the metric system less intimidating… one baggie at a time! 🤣💊 #MathletesInDisguise"

For even more funny metric quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny metric quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

28 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Going viral on Telegram:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Reported on Reddit:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Trending via Telegram:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Going viral on Messenger:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Breaking via Threads:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Just landed via Reddit:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

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