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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

2 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Just shared via TikTok:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Spotted on TikTok:

I am cassette tape years old.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Trending via Telegram:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Spotted on Slack:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Shared recently on X:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Reported on Slack:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Just landed via TikTok:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Home » Funny Miss Work Quotes

Funny miss work quotes

New funny miss work quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Commentary:
Well, who knew that "sexy" was officially on the list of acceptable reasons to call in? 💁‍♀️✨ Forget about sick days—if you're feeling a little off your glamorous game, just swipe that resignation letter and stay home! 😂💃 Because honestly, sometimes even your mirror needs a day off from your fabulousness. 🔥🙈 #SelfCare #WorkFromYawn

For even more funny miss work quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny miss work quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

2 minutes ago

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Reported on Snapchat:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Going viral on Messenger:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Trending via X:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Live now on Telegram:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Breaking via Threads:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Just shared via Telegram:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Reported on Instagram:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

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