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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Going viral on X:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Just shared via Twitch:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Live now on Facebook:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Breaking via Pinterest:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Reported on Telegram:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Reported on Slack:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Making waves on Instagram:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Just shared via Instagram:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

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