Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

52 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,321

Funny Quotes Topics

17,441

Funny Quotes Images

15,321

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Trending via Reddit:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Just shared via YouTube:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Live now on Facebook:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Shared recently on X:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Funny mob boss quotes

Funny mob boss quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of organized crime 😎💼 Whether you’re a fan of classic gangster movies or just love witty one-liners with a side of attitude, these quotes serve up laughs and swagger in equal measure 😂🔫 Get ready to enjoy the lighter side of the mob life while keeping it cool and cheeky! 🎩✨

New funny mob boss quotes 👇

All funny mob boss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

59 shares on X this month:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

90 shares on Discord this month:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

52 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,321

Funny Quotes Topics

17,441

Funny Quotes Images

15,321

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Social media is mental suicide.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Just landed via Discord:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Broadcasted on Slack:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Spotted on Threads:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Spotted on YouTube:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Just landed via Messenger:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Just shared via Threads:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

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