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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Trending via Snapchat:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Freshly posted on X:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Going viral on Snapchat:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Just landed via Reddit:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Making waves on Threads:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Trending via Twitch:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Just shared via Telegram:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Going viral on Facebook:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Funny mob boss quotes

Funny mob boss quotes bring a hilarious twist to the world of organized crime 😎💼 Whether you’re a fan of classic gangster movies or just love witty one-liners with a side of attitude, these quotes serve up laughs and swagger in equal measure 😂🔫 Get ready to enjoy the lighter side of the mob life while keeping it cool and cheeky! 🎩✨

New funny mob boss quotes 👇

All funny mob boss quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

79 shares on Discord this month:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

16 shares on X this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Trending via Threads:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Trending via TikTok:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Trending via Facebook:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Live now on Discord:

Please congratulate me on my cool new position! It is the fetal position; I will be in it for a while.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Spotted on Threads:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

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