Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Just shared via TikTok:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Going viral on Telegram:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Spotted on WeChat:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Making waves on Facebook:

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

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All funny montannibal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

45 shares on Slack this month:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

30 shares on Slack this month:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

70 shares on Twitch this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of debugging is just realizing your own stupidity in slow motion.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Seen just now on Slack:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Trending via Twitch:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Breaking via TikTok:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Going viral on Messenger:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

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