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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Just shared via Twitch:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Reported on Facebook:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Breaking via Reddit:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Breaking via Slack:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Seen just now on Slack:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Spotted on Instagram:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Just landed via Facebook:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Making waves on X:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Trending via TikTok:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Trending via Discord:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

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