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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Just landed via WeChat:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Just shared via Reddit:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They expect me to work at work.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Funny never find quotes

New funny never find quotes 👇

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

1 week ago

again, email, humor, i, job, just, last, me, message, never, never find, ooo, OOO message, quit, quit job, resignation, setting, workplace

All funny never find quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

100 shares on Slack this month:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Making waves on YouTube:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Trending via Twitch:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Making waves on Discord:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

Just shared via Facebook:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny never find quotes

New funny never find quotes 👇

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

All funny never find quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨