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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Going viral on Slack:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Just shared via Discord:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Trending via Discord:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Seen just now on Slack:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Spotted on TikTok:

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Just landed via Telegram:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Funny new sh quotes

New funny new sh quotes 👇

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

6 days ago

activity, adult, adult life, ask, childhood, even, fast, friends, fun, fun activity, growing, growing up, life, new, new sh, nostalgia, run, running, sh, sucks

All funny new sh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Slack this month:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

100 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

80 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

49 shares on X this month:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Trending via TikTok:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Just shared via YouTube:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Seen just now on X:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Just shared via Reddit:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny new sh quotes

New funny new sh quotes 👇

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

All funny new sh quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨