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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Trending via Facebook:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Spotted on YouTube:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Shared recently on Slack:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Going viral on Telegram:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Going viral on YouTube:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

33 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Making waves on Messenger:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Going viral on WeChat:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Making waves on Discord:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

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