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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

7 hours ago

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Reported on Pinterest:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Reported on Messenger:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Trending via Facebook:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Freshly posted on Discord:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Trending via YouTube:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Home » Funny Not In Bed Quotes

Funny not in bed quotes

New funny not in bed quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of rolling eyes – some achieve it through romance, others through sheer annoyance. It's all about perspective 😂👀 #EyeRollingExpert"

For even more funny not in bed quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny not in bed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

7 hours ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I’ve discovered that my visiting family members leave crumbs in the butter. Please keep me in your thoughts during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Live now on Reddit:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Trending via Snapchat:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Making waves on Telegram:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Making waves on X:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Trending via Instagram:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Spotted on Slack:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

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