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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Making waves on WeChat:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Making waves on X:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Live now on Facebook:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Live now on YouTube:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Breaking via Twitch:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Going viral on Slack:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Funny older person quotes

New funny older person quotes 👇

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

1 week ago

age, cool, game, humor, just, level, older, older person, person, perspective, start, video, video game

All funny older person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

95 shares on X this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Just shared via Discord:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Spotted on Instagram:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Spotted on Telegram:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Seen just now on Reddit:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny older person quotes

New funny older person quotes 👇

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

All funny older person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨