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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Breaking via Instagram:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Trending via Messenger:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Breaking via Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Reported on Threads:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Spotted on Facebook:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Spotted on Messenger:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Breaking via Facebook:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Freshly posted on X:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Breaking via Twitch:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Going viral on X:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Spotted on TikTok:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

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