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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,960

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,960

Updated

18 seconds ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Shared recently on Slack:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Trending via Instagram:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Just shared via Telegram:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

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Funny outer space quotes

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All funny outer space quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,960

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,960

Updated

18 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Trending via Reddit:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Spotted on Discord:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

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