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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has shared:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has shared:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has shared:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has copied:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Reddit:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Making waves on X:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full namesβ€”first and lastβ€”like a government office.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Just shared via WeChat:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Just shared via X:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Going viral on TikTok:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Funny parental quotes

Funny parental quotes bring a dose of laughter πŸ˜„ to the wild ride of raising kids! From sleepless nights πŸ’€ to unexpected messes 🎨, these witty lines capture the chaos and joy of parenthood perfectly. Whether you’re a new mom, dad, or just need a chuckle πŸ€ͺ, these gems remind us that sometimes, the best way to survive parenting is with a big smile and a sense of humor! πŸ˜‚βœ¨

New funny parental quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny parental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

78 shares on X this month:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

44 shares on X this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No, thanksβ€”social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has viewed:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has shared:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I had too much to think last night.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much β€œpenetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Messenger:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Making waves on X:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Making waves on Messenger:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Just shared via Twitch:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Seen just now on X:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

Going viral on Reddit:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Just shared via Facebook:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

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