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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

5 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Making waves on Slack:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Spotted on Reddit:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Reported on YouTube:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Trending via Messenger:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Home » Funny Percentages Quotes

Funny percentages quotes

New funny percentages quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like someone's got their daily priorities sorted – coffee for the morning buzz, wine for the evening relaxation, and cheese for that delicious snack attack! 🍷☕️🧀 Looks like this person knows the key ingredients for a well-balanced *ahem* lifestyle!
6 months ago
Share →: Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Commentary:
"Bruschetta: the food that leaves you torn between enjoying its deliciousness 🤤 and regretting the aftermath cleaning 🧹. It's a culinary rollercoaster ride! 🍅🥖 #MessyButWorthIt"

For even more funny percentages quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny percentages quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

5 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Making waves on Telegram:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Making waves on Facebook:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Broadcasted on Slack:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Reported on Pinterest:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Making waves on Twitch:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Going viral on Messenger:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Reported on Telegram:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

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