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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Breaking via Discord:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Going viral on Threads:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Spotted on Messenger:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Trending via Facebook:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Live now on Messenger:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Reported on TikTok:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

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Funny pet antics quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spotted on Slack:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Spotted on Twitch:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Just shared via TikTok:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

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