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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Going viral on Threads:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Just landed via Reddit:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Spotted on Twitch:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Trending via Twitch:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Breaking via Discord:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Making waves on WeChat:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Trending via Threads:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

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