Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Unpopular opinion: Greek mythology needs more live-action movies. I’m tired of re-watching Percy Jackson.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Just landed via Instagram:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Breaking via X:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Making waves on Facebook:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Funny play dumb quotes

New funny play dumb quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on X this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

70 shares on Reddit this month:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Going viral on X:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Spotted on Twitch:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Making waves on Slack:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Seen just now on X:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Making waves on TikTok:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

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