Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Seen just now on Facebook:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

Making waves on Messenger:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Just landed via Messenger:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Funny pointlessness quotes

Funny pointlessness quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life feels utterly absurd 😂✨ They remind us to laugh at the silly, the random, and the wonderfully meaningless things that make our days a little brighter 🤪💫 Embrace the joy of not taking everything seriously and enjoy a good chuckle at the delightful nonsense that keeps us entertained! 🎉🤣

New funny pointlessness quotes 👇

All funny pointlessness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Discord this month:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

34 shares on Threads this month:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

98 shares on Discord this month:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

18 shares on Discord this month:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent someone who holds me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Breaking via X:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Just shared via Twitch:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Shared recently on Threads:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

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