Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Live now on Telegram:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Spotted on WeChat:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Live now on Telegram:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just landed via WeChat:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Funny poisoning quotes

New funny poisoning quotes 👇

All funny poisoning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Slack this month:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

35 shares on Instagram this month:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Screen time on your computer feels like healthy screen time, screen time on your phone feels like evil screen time.

77 shares on Slack this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

70 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There are many people who don’t like me and I am one of them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

ROMO (relief of missing out)

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Spotted on Telegram:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I am half agony, half hope.

Seen just now on Threads:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Just shared via Messenger:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Shared recently on X:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Trending via Reddit:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

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