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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I bet God still calls it Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,234

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Freshly posted on X:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Trending via Slack:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Broadcasted on Discord:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Live now on WeChat:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Spotted on YouTube:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Funny printing quotes

Funny printing quotes bring a splash of laughter to the world of ink and paper 🎨🖨️ Whether you’re battling a stubborn printer or marveling at design magic, these witty gems keep spirits high and stress low 😄💡 Perfect for creatives, office warriors, and anyone who’s ever faced a paper jam—get ready to chuckle your way through the printing process! 🎉📄

New funny printing quotes 👇

All funny printing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Facebook this month:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

88 shares on Threads this month:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

About to form my very first opinion.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Spotted on Facebook:

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

Just shared via Slack:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Spotted on Pinterest:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Live now on X:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Just landed via Telegram:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Just landed via Reddit:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

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