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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,285

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Seen just now on Threads:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Just landed via Instagram:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Trending via LinkedIn:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Seen just now on Slack:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Funny problem solver quotes

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All funny problem solver quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

What did people do before eyeglasses, like half the world just walked around not being able to see?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Broadcasted on X:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Just shared via Telegram:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Making waves on Reddit:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Live now on Twitch:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Just shared via Discord:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

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