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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Breaking via Threads:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Spotted on Telegram:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Seen just now on Discord:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Making waves on YouTube:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Spotted on Messenger:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Just landed via Instagram:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Going viral on X:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Just shared via YouTube:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Just shared via WeChat:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Reported on WeChat:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

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