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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Seen just now on X:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Spotted on TikTok:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Making waves on Instagram:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Spotted on Instagram:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Just landed via Threads:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Funny purple onion quotes

New funny purple onion quotes 👇

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

0

4 months ago

color, fact, food, humor, me, naming, observation, onion, purple, purple onion, red, red onion, someone, straight

All funny purple onion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

64 shares on X this month:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

70 shares on X this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

36 shares on X this month:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Just shared via Messenger:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Just landed via Twitch:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Going viral on Facebook:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Just landed via Instagram:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny purple onion quotes

New funny purple onion quotes 👇

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

All funny purple onion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨