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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Going bananas on Discord:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Spotted on Discord:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Making waves on Slack:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Making waves on Discord:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Funny quick choice quotes

New funny quick choice quotes 👇

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, big, choice, choose, decision, decision making, humor, nightmare, procrastination, quick, quick choice, sleep, stress

Someone from 🇧🇯 has recently bookmarked this quote.

91 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny quick choice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

93 shares on Slack this month:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

51 shares on Discord this month:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Going viral on Slack:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Making waves on X:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Just shared via Messenger:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny quick choice quotes

New funny quick choice quotes 👇

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

All funny quick choice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨