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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2417 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,579

Funny Quotes Topics

15,247

Funny Quotes Images

12,579

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Making waves on Twitch:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Broadcasted on Discord:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Going viral on Messenger:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Live now on YouTube:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2417 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,579

Funny Quotes Topics

15,247

Funny Quotes Images

12,579

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Don’t worry. There is still hope for the summer: the rain should get warmer soon.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Making waves on Instagram:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

Going viral on YouTube:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

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