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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Trending via WeChat:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Spotted on Facebook:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Just shared via Instagram:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Spotted on X:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Just shared via Facebook:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Spotted on Facebook:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Just landed via Threads:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Going viral on Slack:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Just landed via Threads:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Going viral on Pinterest:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

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