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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Trending via Pinterest:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Spotted on Reddit:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Reported on Messenger:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Going viral on Telegram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just shared via X:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Reported on TikTok:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Live now on Threads:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Going viral on Facebook:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Just landed via YouTube:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

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