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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Just shared via X:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Spotted on X:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Going bananas on X:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Funny rebuild quotes

New funny rebuild quotes 👇

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

2 months ago

cheese, civilization, food, hope, humor, i, know, left, people, rebuild, society, still, survival

All funny rebuild quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Telegram this month:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

14 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

34 shares on Slack this month:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Seen just now on Slack:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

Live now on Snapchat:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Spotted on TikTok:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

Just landed via Snapchat:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Just landed via Messenger:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Trending via Slack:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

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Funny rebuild quotes

New funny rebuild quotes 👇

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

All funny rebuild quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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