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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has copied:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has copied:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has bookmarked:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has copied:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has copied:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Threads:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Making waves on Instagram:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sign at the zoo says β€œdon’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Funny rehab quotes

Funny rehab quotes bring a light-hearted touch to the journey of recovery and self-improvement. πŸŒŸπŸ˜„ Whether you’re in the midst of rehab or just in need of a laugh, these quotes offer a humorous perspective on the challenges and triumphs of the process. So, embrace the humor and enjoy a good chuckle as you navigate the ups and downs of rehab! πŸš€πŸ˜‚

New funny rehab quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny rehab quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

31 shares on Discord this month:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

88 shares on Reddit this month:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to β€œget those beans brewing”.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like β€œcheesed to meet you”.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has copied:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has bookmarked:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has shared:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Messenger:

β€œYou live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Shared recently on Threads:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Going viral on Discord:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Trending via Telegram:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Going bananas on TikTok:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Trending via Pinterest:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

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