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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Trending via Instagram:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Making waves on Messenger:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Just landed via WeChat:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Funny rehab quotes

Funny rehab quotes bring a light-hearted touch to the journey of recovery and self-improvement. 🌟😄 Whether you’re in the midst of rehab or just in need of a laugh, these quotes offer a humorous perspective on the challenges and triumphs of the process. So, embrace the humor and enjoy a good chuckle as you navigate the ups and downs of rehab! 🚀😂

New funny rehab quotes 👇

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

1 month ago

addiction, cartoon, food, humor, man, Popeye, rehab, sailor, spinach, time
Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

1 month ago

amy, Amy Winehouse, denial, fun, good, humor, morning, rehab, winehouse
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

1 month ago

addiction, addiction recovery, caught, colada, getting, great, humor, meet, meet people, people, piña, piña colada, place, rain, recovery, reference, rehab, socializing, song, song reference
Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

1 month ago

asking, awkwardness, extrovert, friend, humor, interaction, introvert, personality, rehab, social, social interaction, try

All funny rehab quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

96 shares on Instagram this month:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Time machine? You mean a clock?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,751

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Spreading quickly via X:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Shared recently on Threads:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Going viral on Twitch:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Going viral on WeChat:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Just shared via Telegram:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Live now on X:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

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