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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

Live now on Snapchat:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

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Funny responsible adult quotes

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All funny responsible adult quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Seen just now on Discord:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Just shared via X:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Just landed via WeChat:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Trending via WeChat:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

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