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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Trending via Twitch:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Trending via X:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Trending via Messenger:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Spotted on Threads:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Spotted on Discord:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Trending via Pinterest:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Reported on Slack:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

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Funny Robert quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Making waves on Messenger:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Shared recently on Slack:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Just landed via Twitch:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Trending via Threads:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Just shared via WeChat:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

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