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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Breaking via Messenger:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Going viral on X:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Going viral on Reddit:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Making waves on Telegram:

This whole week could have been an email.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Seen just now on Threads:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

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