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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Breaking via Twitch:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Just landed via Reddit:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Going viral on Slack:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Broadcasted on X:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

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Funny self-fulfilling quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Trending via Telegram:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Just shared via Facebook:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Going viral on Telegram:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Live now on WeChat:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

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