Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Trending via Reddit:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Going viral on Slack:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Trending via Discord:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My swear jar is filing for an IPO soon.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Funny semi-colon quotes

New funny semi-colon quotes 👇

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

0

3 months ago

ahead, doing, grammar, humor, joke, know, mistake, punctuation, semi-colon, semicolon, writing, wrong

Someone from 🇲🇱 has recently shared this quote.

115 shares on Reddit this month.

All funny semi-colon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Instagram this month:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

81 shares on Facebook this month:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Trending via Facebook:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Trending via Slack:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Going viral on TikTok:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Live now on Pinterest:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Going viral on Instagram:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Trending via Telegram:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny semi-colon quotes

New funny semi-colon quotes 👇

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

All funny semi-colon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨