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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Freshly posted on Threads:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Trending via X:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Reported on Instagram:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Trending via Messenger:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Trending via Facebook:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Just landed via X:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Going viral on Instagram:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Just landed via TikTok:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Broadcasted on X:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

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