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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Been telling everyone, “It’s been a good year for horses.” No idea whether that’s true or not, but they keep nodding like it makes a lot of sense.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Making waves on Telegram:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Spotted on TikTok:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Spotted on Facebook:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Making waves on Threads:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Shared recently on Threads:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Making waves on Facebook:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Funny sex robot quotes

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New funny sex robot quotes 👇

All funny sex robot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

71 shares on Threads this month:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

29 shares on Slack this month:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,506

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Spotted on Instagram:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Going viral on Slack:

People should come with warning labels.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Live now on YouTube:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Breaking via Twitch:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Just landed via WeChat:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Seen just now on X:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

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