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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Going viral on Messenger:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Going viral on X:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Spotted on YouTube:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Trending via TikTok:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Live now on Twitch:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Funny shamrock emoji quotes

New funny shamrock emoji quotes 👇

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

0

2 months ago

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Someone from 🇹🇩 has recently bookmarked this quote.

32 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny shamrock emoji quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

13 shares on Threads this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Trending via Snapchat:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Trending via TikTok:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Trending via Slack:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Spotted on Reddit:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Live now on Instagram:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Just landed via Slack:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny shamrock emoji quotes

New funny shamrock emoji quotes 👇

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

All funny shamrock emoji quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨