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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Trending via Pinterest:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Just landed via Messenger:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Making waves on Twitch:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

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Funny shooting star quotes

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All funny shooting star quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

34 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Going viral on Telegram:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Making waves on Instagram:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Going viral on Snapchat:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Going viral on Messenger:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Going viral on Twitch:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

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