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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Going bananas on Slack:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Trending via Reddit:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Just landed via Twitch:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Broadcasted on Slack:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Funny singleness quotes

New funny singleness quotes 👇

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

4 weeks ago

being, emotional, emotional state, final, humor, independence, irony, listen, loneliness, love, love song, mind, point, relationship, single, singleness, solitude, song, stage, state

All funny singleness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

100 shares on X this month:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

81 shares on X this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Spotted on Facebook:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Making waves on Discord:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

Just landed via X:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Going bananas on Discord:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Broadcasted on X:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Just landed via TikTok:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny singleness quotes

New funny singleness quotes 👇

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

All funny singleness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨