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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Just shared via Threads:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Making waves on Messenger:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Making waves on WeChat:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Going viral on Reddit:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Just shared via Reddit:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Trending via Twitch:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Making waves on Telegram:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Everyday is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Going viral on Reddit:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Spotted on Twitch:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Just shared via Messenger:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Shared recently on Threads:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Just shared via Facebook:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Just landed via Twitch:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Making waves on Instagram:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

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