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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Making waves on WeChat:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Trending via Threads:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Breaking via Twitch:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Live now on X:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Trending via Messenger:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Just landed via Messenger:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Funny snaccident quotes

Funny snaccident quotes are here to celebrate those irresistible moments when snacks mysteriously disappear 🍿😅 Whether it’s a harmless munching mishap or a full-on treat takeover, these witty lines capture the joy and chaos of snack attacks 🍫🤭 Get ready to laugh out loud and embrace your snack cravings like never before! 🥨🍩 #SnackLife #OopsIDidItAgain

New funny snaccident quotes 👇

All funny snaccident quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,741

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Freshly posted on Threads:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Making waves on Facebook:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Spotted on Messenger:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Just landed via Twitch:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Seen just now on X:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

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