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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Dear Santa, Money!

Just landed via Telegram:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Going viral on Reddit:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Shared recently on Threads:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Trending via WeChat:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Funny special mistake quotes

New funny special mistake quotes 👇

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

3 weeks ago

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All funny special mistake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

62 shares on Slack this month:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

84 shares on X this month:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

78 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

62 shares on Threads this month:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

41 shares on X this month:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Live now on Instagram:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Just shared via Reddit:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny special mistake quotes

New funny special mistake quotes 👇

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

All funny special mistake quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨