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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Spotted on YouTube:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Reported on WeChat:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Trending via YouTube:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Making waves on WeChat:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Just landed via Telegram:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,996

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,996

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Reported on Twitch:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Just landed via Twitch:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Spotted on Reddit:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

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