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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2328 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,490

Funny Quotes Topics

15,193

Funny Quotes Images

12,490

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Making waves on YouTube:

Never trust a wet fart.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Going viral on Instagram:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Just shared via Discord:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Trending via LinkedIn:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2328 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,490

Funny Quotes Topics

15,193

Funny Quotes Images

12,490

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Making waves on Messenger:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Seen just now on WeChat:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Spotted on WeChat:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Trending via Messenger:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Live now on Snapchat:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Making waves on TikTok:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Live now on Slack:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

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