Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Trending via Threads:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Shared recently on Discord:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Going viral on Instagram:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Trending via Telegram:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Going viral on YouTube:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Funny squeaking quotes

New funny squeaking quotes 👇

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

1 week ago

after, animals, breakup, humor, mice, pun, relationship, squeaking, terms
I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

3 weeks ago

aesthetics, bed, beds, carpenter, furniture, great, humor, i, need, remember, sex, squeak, squeaking

All funny squeaking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Facebook this month:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

26 shares on Twitch this month:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

88 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Just landed via Telegram:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Trending via Reddit:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Going viral on YouTube:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Going viral on Telegram:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny squeaking quotes

New funny squeaking quotes 👇

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

All funny squeaking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨