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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Live now on TikTok:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Just shared via Twitch:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Seen just now on Slack:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Reported on Instagram:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Breaking via WhatsApp:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Making waves on Telegram:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Just shared via Threads:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Just landed via Facebook:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Reported on WhatsApp:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Seen just now on Slack:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Making waves on Facebook:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

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