Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Going viral on Threads:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Seen just now on Slack:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Trending via Facebook:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Spotted on YouTube:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Making waves on X:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Funny stereo quotes

Funny stereo quotes 🎶 bring a burst of laughter to every music lover’s day! Whether you’re jamming solo or hosting a dance party, these witty lines turn up the fun and keep the vibes high 🎧😂. Perfect for sharing, captioning, or just brightening your playlist moments, get ready to tune into some serious smiles and good times! 🎤😄

New funny stereo quotes 👇

All funny stereo quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Instagram this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

84 shares on Threads this month:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

71 shares on Facebook this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,249

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Going viral on Messenger:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Spotted on X:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Making waves on Telegram:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Trending via Slack:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Just shared via Messenger:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Trending via Threads:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

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