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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Just shared via Discord:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Trending via WeChat:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Making waves on WeChat:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Breaking via Facebook:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Trending via YouTube:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Funny super drug quotes

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All funny super drug quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Discord this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m glad I have boobs. The last thing I need is people making eye contact with me.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

89 shares on X this month:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Live now on Threads:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Just shared via Instagram:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Going viral on YouTube:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Going viral on Reddit:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

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