Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Just landed via Reddit:

Being awake is the worst.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Trending via Discord:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Making waves on Reddit:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Going viral on Reddit:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Trending via LinkedIn:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Reported on TikTok:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Breaking via Snapchat:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Making waves on X:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Just landed via Slack:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

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