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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Body by sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Shared recently on X:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Just landed via Twitch:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Just landed via TikTok:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Live now on TikTok:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Just landed via Threads:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Just landed via X:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Just shared via Slack:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Live now on Telegram:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Just shared via Telegram:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Just shared via Facebook:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Drive like no one is watching.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Live now on WhatsApp:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

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