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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Shared recently on Threads:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Just shared via Instagram:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Seen just now on X:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Live now on YouTube:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Trending via Slack:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Spotted on TikTok:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Trending via Slack:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

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