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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Breaking via WeChat:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Going viral on Instagram:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Breaking via X:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Trending via Slack:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Reported on WeChat:

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

Freshly posted on X:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Making waves on Slack:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Going viral on WeChat:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Breaking via Reddit:

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

Reported on Snapchat:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Live now on Slack:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Reported on Twitch:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Spotted on Twitch:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Making waves on Snapchat:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

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