Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Shared recently on Slack:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just shared via Facebook:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Going viral on Facebook:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Just landed via WeChat:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Funny task management quotes

Funny task management quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 to the chaos of to-do lists and deadlines ⏰. They remind us that staying organized doesn’t have to be boring 📋✨—sometimes, a good chuckle is the best productivity hack! Whether you’re juggling projects or procrastinating just a bit 😅, these witty gems will keep you motivated and smiling through the hustle 💪🎉. Ready to laugh your way to a more manageable day?

New funny task management quotes 👇

All funny task management quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Feeling like Floyd in this May weather (illiterate and violent).

48 shares on Discord this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Seen just now on Threads:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Just shared via Messenger:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Making waves on TikTok:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

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