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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Breaking via Reddit:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Going viral on Telegram:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Trending via Messenger:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Trending via X:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Funny task management quotes

Funny task management quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 to the chaos of to-do lists and deadlines ⏰. They remind us that staying organized doesn’t have to be boring 📋✨—sometimes, a good chuckle is the best productivity hack! Whether you’re juggling projects or procrastinating just a bit 😅, these witty gems will keep you motivated and smiling through the hustle 💪🎉. Ready to laugh your way to a more manageable day?

New funny task management quotes 👇

All funny task management quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

My lips could use some attention today.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

94 shares on X this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Spotted on Instagram:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Just landed via Reddit:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Spotted on WeChat:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Just shared via X:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Spotted on Instagram:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

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