Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Just shared via Snapchat:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Trending via Threads:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Trending via X:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Funny thick quotes

Funny thick quotes are here to spice up your day with laughter and a little extra sass! 😂✨ Whether you’re celebrating curves or just love a clever twist on words, these playful gems will have you smiling in no time. Ready for some witty vibes and cheeky humor? Let’s dive into the world of unforgettable one-liners that embrace confidence and fun! 💃🔥 #StayFunny #ThickAndProud

New funny thick quotes 👇

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

4 weeks ago

always, annoyance, close, even, fluffiness, fluffy, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, towels, travel, worst
I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

4 weeks ago

grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world
I am thick and tired.

4 weeks ago

am, exhaustion, humor, i, play, play on words, thick, tired, words
I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

1 month ago

bath, bath towel, close, even, fluffy, frustration, hate, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, travel
I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

1 month ago

comparison, glasses, humor, i, joke, preference, thick, transparent, uneven, women

All funny thick quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on YouTube this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

42 shares on Threads this month:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My bank account is also in retrograde.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re making me get out of bed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Honestly, I can see why God flooded the Earth that one time.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Going viral on Twitch:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Freshly posted on X:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Seen just now on X:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

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