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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Breaking via Telegram:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Trending via Discord:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Making waves on YouTube:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Funny thick quotes

Funny thick quotes are here to spice up your day with laughter and a little extra sass! 😂✨ Whether you’re celebrating curves or just love a clever twist on words, these playful gems will have you smiling in no time. Ready for some witty vibes and cheeky humor? Let’s dive into the world of unforgettable one-liners that embrace confidence and fun! 💃🔥 #StayFunny #ThickAndProud

New funny thick quotes 👇

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

0

2 months ago

always, annoyance, close, even, fluffiness, fluffy, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, towels, travel, worst
I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

0

2 months ago

grow, growth, humor, i, need, needs, perspective, resilience, skin, thick, thick skin, thorns, world
I am thick and tired.

0

2 months ago

am, exhaustion, humor, i, play, play on words, thick, tired, words
I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

0

2 months ago

bath, bath towel, close, even, fluffy, frustration, hate, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, travel
I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

0

2 months ago

comparison, glasses, humor, i, joke, preference, thick, transparent, uneven, women

All funny thick quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

29 shares on Instagram this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Going viral on Twitch:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Live now on TikTok:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Spotted on Slack:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Going viral on Reddit:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Making waves on Threads:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Trending via YouTube:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Going viral on Threads:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

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